Ryan's Crossing Read online

  Everyone laughed.

  “Can we eat the cobbler now?” said Thomas.

  “One more thing,” said Peter. He turned to Brittney, and she handed him a red jeweler’s case. “Thanks, Britt.” He turned to look at Amber. “This is for the newest Mrs. Yager to wear on her wedding day. Brittney promises it matches your dress.”

  Amber opened the box and gasped, putting one hand to her mouth. “Oh, Peter. It’s beautiful.” She turned the case to show the zigzag necklace and earring set made with pearls. “Thank you.”

  He took her hand in his. “You are welcome, Ray.”

  “More mush,” said Pops, shaking his head. “Weddings must turn his brain soft.” He turned to Faye.“What kind of cobbler you got in there, Faye? Blackberry?”

  Ryan watched Amber and Peter talking softly. She was going to be just fine.

  And you, great warrior?

  Chapter 9

  BRITTNEY SLIPPED INTO A CLASSROOM at the church and looked at the row of dresses hanging neatly along the coat rack on the wall. She hadn’t seen so much chiffon and satin since Logan’s wedding. She fingered the fine material and let it slip through her fingers.

  “Tomorrow will be beautiful,” said Faye, walking in and hugging Brittney close.

  “Yes, it will.” She paused then said, “Do you think about Jamie when we have family events like this, Mom?”

  Faye sighed. “Yes. I imagine the woman she would have become, wonder how her being here would have changed the dynamic between you and your brothers.”

  “Things would have been more fair growing up!”

  Faye giggled. “Yes, perhaps so. The two of you could have teamed up on them—not that you normally needed a lot of help from anyone. Why do you ask?”

  Brittney sighed. “I love Heather dearly, and can’t imagine life without Allie. Now Amber’s joining the family, and I’m really thankful for her. But, it’s times like this that I most wonder about Jamie.”

  “Events like this would have suited her quite well.”

  “She was the one who loved to dress up and have tea parties.”

  Faye smiled. “Yes, she did. But then, by now she might have been married and moved to the other side of the country. You just never know.”

  Brittney’s thoughts turned to Melody, the unit secretary at work who was waiting to marry her prince. He was on active duty in the military, and Brittney knew that Melody sometimes wondered if she was cut out to be an Army wife.

  “Well, at least I’m not the only girl anymore. And both my brothers have found women that fit well into the family.”

  “God definitely gave me a ‘Yes’ answer to my prayers about the boys’ wives.” Faye looked at Brittney, placing a hand on her cheek. “And I know God will provide you with a man whom we will love too.”

  “Thanks, Mom. I’m glad you’ve prayed for him all my life.”

  “Mind if I interrupt?” said Amber, stepping into the room.

  “Of course not, dear,” said Faye, turning toward her.

  “I just don’t know what to do with myself,” said Amber, spreading her arms wide. “Everything seems to be ready. I’ve adjusted the bows so many times they are starting to show wear, and I can tell you it’s exactly twenty-eight steps from the back door to the front altar.”

  Faye laughed and wrapped her arm around Amber’s shoulders.

  “Well, since we have to fit into all these dresses tomorrow, gorging on ice cream is out of the question,” said Brittney.

  Amber and Faye both laughed.

  “I just need to busy my mind for a while,” said Amber.

  “We could go back to the house and play a game or work a puzzle… or, we could start addressing thank you cards,” said Brittney with a big smile.

  “That sounds like a great time,” said Amber as she rolled her eyes.

  Brittney looked at her mom. “She’s getting this sarcasm thing pretty good.”

  Amber laughed.

  “Come on, my girls,” said Faye. “You can decide what you want to do on the drive back to the house.”

  Brittney pulled out a deck of cards and drew Logan, Heather, Victoria, Keith, and Ryan into a game with her and Amber while Faye occupied Emma and Taylor with a princess movie. The house quickly filled with laughter and sibling rivalry that had little Emma looking at them and asking Faye if everyone was “playing nice.”

  “Anyone want more to drink?” asked Ryan, rising to his feet with his own empty glass.

  “I’ll take some more lemonade,” said his mother.

  “Me too,” said Keith.

  “I just want some water,” said Amber.

  “I’ll help you, Ryan,” said Brittney, pushing back from the table.

  Brittney grabbed the glasses Ryan couldn’t carry and headed into the kitchen behind him.

  “I’ve been thinking about what you said.” Ryan began to refill the water glasses.

  “About what?” said Brittney as she sat the glasses she held on the counter.

  “Career options.”

  “And. . .”

  “And I like the idea of forming relationships with people, but I’m not sure I’m cut out for that.”

  “If you like the idea, then what’s the problem?” Brittney grabbed the lemonade out of the fridge.

  “I don’t know if it will make any sense to you.”

  “Try it.”

  “I don’t know how much you know about our past.” Ryan grabbed the rag from the sink and began cleaning water droplets from the counter.

  Brittney tried to hang back, let him share whatever he was comfortable with, but something in her yearned to know more. What keeps him running from friendships? The death of his sister sixteen years before? Amber running away ten years ago? Something else? “Amber’s told me quite a lot.”

  “Well, I’ve looked at my work history and figured out that I choose to move on about the time that my partners start insisting on knowing more about me. The first few weeks, I can give them partial answers or divert the subject, and they’re fine. But after three or four months, that’s not good enough anymore.”

  “Are you scared to let people in?”

  Ryan shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so. Well, not scared, but… I mean, how do I know they’re dependable?” He stopped and gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head. “That’s not quite right. I know I can depend on them to get the job done, but…” Ryan clenched his jaw.

  Brittney walked over and stood right in front of him. She wanted to reach out to him, to touch his arm, but settled for reaching out with her words instead. “But, what?”

  “Maybe I don’t know what I’m missing, what I’m looking for.”

  “I know Amber struggled with learning to depend on people, wondering if Peter and the rest of us were going to abandon her tomorrow, not knowing whether she’d be okay if something happened to one of us,” said Brittney.

  She saw something flicker through his expression but wasn’t sure what to make of it. The phone rang, interrupting her concentration.

  She picked up the glasses he’d refilled and started to head back to the living room. “You can choose to consider the positive side of things too, Ryan. What if your partner or whatever person who wants to know more about you is here tomorrow?”

  “Hey, Britt,” said Logan. “The phone’s for you.”

  “Thanks.” She put the glasses down, turned to the wall by the breakfast bar and reached for the handset.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Brittney. It’s Nicole.”

  Brittney’s heart froze. She closed her eyes and forced herself to breathe. Her voice barely cooperated. “What’s up?”

  “Grace is still hanging in there, but her O2 stats are a bit lower, and her heart rate’s dropped a few beats.”

  “What’s she reading?”

  “The O2’s been hovering around 87 today, and the heart rate keeps dipping below 80.”

  “How’s her breathing?”

  “It’s more steady than not, but
there’s some wheezing, and at times it gets shallow or ragged.”

  Brittney sighed deeply. The child’s body was slowly being deprived of oxygen. How long could it hold out?

  “There’s more, Britt. The parents came in today and talked to the doctors for a while. Before they left, they signed a DNR.”

  Brittney sank down onto the barstool. A Do Not Resuscitate order? Oh, Daddy. Her heart cried out to God even as her mind ran through what she knew was the medical reality. Gracie’s body could not handle much more.

  She sighed deeply. “Okay. Thanks for calling.”

  “Melissa’s got the night shift for the next two nights and Diane the next three days. Both know to call you if it gets critical.”

  “Thanks, Nicole.”

  Brittney heard the line click off, but she just couldn’t quite make her muscles work to return the phone to its cradle. She felt Ryan beside her, gently taking the phone from her hand. He sat beside her, putting a hand on the middle of her back.

  “Your kid?”

  Brittney nodded, struggling to control her emotions. “She’s dying.”

  “Is there no hope?”

  “Little.” Brittney sighed again and wiped the tears from her eyes.

  “How long?”

  “A week. Maybe more. Probably less.”

  “So now what?”

  Brittney took a deep breath. “She’s in good hands. I trust the ladies I work with, and I know the women assigned to her. They’ll call me if…” Brittney closed her eyes. “They’ll call me when she gets critical,” she finally managed to whisper.

  “And then we’ll make sure you get the hospital,” said Ryan reassuringly.

  “Even if it’s during the wedding,” said Amber, stepping forward from the doorway.

  “Amber,” said Brittney in an attempt to object.

  “No, Brittney,” said Amber. “We both know that little girl will need you. You keep your cell phone close, and someone will be ready to get you to Portland if the need arises.”

  “Hey, if it gets me out of a tux…” said Logan.

  Heather slapped Logan on the arm; his attempt at humor fell flat. This was no laughing matter.

  Brittney smiled gratefully, looking at the collection of concerned family members gathered in the kitchen. “Thanks, everyone. I really appreciate it.”

  Chapter 10

  THE AFTERNOON SUN REFLECTED OFF the snow-covered lawn. Michael stood tall at the roadside, looking toward the house. “The enemy will soon make himself a nuisance. Is the man ready?”

  “Almost, sir,” said Matthew. “Ryan’s made great progress these past few days. He’s letting Brittney in and renewing relationships with his family. I will make a visit to see him in the morning and plant the final seeds of courage.”

  “Good. He will need it. Do you still believe he will stay?”

  “Yes. His heart draws him, although he does not yet acknowledge it.”

  “But will it be enough?”

  Matthew reached out to pet the brown neck of an elk that had wandered close. Two other elk stood nearby, gnawing on white aspen trunks. “Men have done more with less.”

  Michael looked directly at Matthew. “And men with more have run.”

  “Yes. But I still believe he will stay.”

  Chapter 11

  THE ROOM GREW BRIGHT, LIKE the sun decided to rest on the bookshelf near Ryan’s door. He squinted and rolled over to see a man standing there. Casually dressed in blue jeans and hiking boots, his pale hair and blue eyes commanded attention.

  “The Lord is with you, great warrior.”

  “What? Who are you?”

  “My name is Matthew.”

  “What do you want?”

  “I’ve come to tell you that you are being sent, great warrior.”

  “Sent?” Ryan sat up in bed, rubbed his face, and ran his hands through his hair. “Who’s sending me?”

  “The Father.”

  Ryan looked at the man in disbelief. “The Father.”

  “Yes.”

  Matthew looked steadily upon him.

  The man appears to be sincere, but how did he get in my room? And… is he supposed to be an angel? Ryan turned to look at the clock on the nightstand. It read 6:17am. It’s too early for anyone to be up. It’s even too early for the sun to be up!

  “So, where am I supposed to go?”

  “Being sent does not necessarily mean a change in location. Sometimes it simply refers to a destination.”

  Ryan shook his head. “Okay, I’ve not had my caffeine yet this morning. Do you have to speak in riddles?”

  “A challenge is before you, great warrior. You were made for more than you’ve taken hold of. Go in the strength you have, but remember Who sends you. Do not be afraid.”

  Ryan rubbed his face again. “How do I know this isn’t just some weird dream?”

  “Read, great warrior. Prepare for battle by learning what the Father does for those who obey. Go to the book of Judges, chapters six and seven.”

  Ryan felt a heavy object hit his legs. He turned over in the dark room and sat up, wondering at the dream. The clock on the nightstand read 6:19. He flipped on the bedside lamp and, squinting against the brightness, looked at what lay against his legs. An open book? He pulled it closer. The top of the page read Judges 6. His breath caught in his throat, and his heart rate increased.

  He looked around the room. No one was there. The door was shut, and everything seemed to be exactly where he’d left it last night. He quietly got out of bed, opened the door, and peered out. No one’s up yet. Now what?

  He looked back at the Bible still lying on the bed. Is it possible? He walked over and sat down, picking it up.

  The Israelites did evil in the eyes of the LORD, and for seven years he gave them into the hands of the Midianites. Because the power of Midian was so oppressive, the Israelites prepared shelters for themselves in mountain clefts, caves and strongholds.

  Ryan read on, curious. Then he realized he was reading some of the same words Matthew had spoken to him. He paused to think back to the conversation and then looked again at the words the Lord spoke to Gideon. He grabbed a pen and began to underline the similarities and then read them over again.

  “Verse 12, ‘The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.’ Verse 14, ‘Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?’ And verse 23, ‘But the LORD said to him, “Peace! Do not be afraid.”’ Did I just experience what I think I experienced?”

  Ryan read on. As Israel walked away with a great victory, Ryan shook his head. Now what? I don’t see me leading anyone to defeat a great army. I don’t understand. Maybe I am losing my mind.

  A gentle knock on his door caught his attention. He looked at the clock for the third time that morning. Or is it only twice? 7:02. He walked over and opened the door to see his mom standing there in her robe.

  “I saw your light on.” She smiled up at him.“Would you like some coffee?”

  “Yeah, Mom. I think that would be a good idea.”

  Ryan waited in a room near the church altar, watching his parents walk slowly forward to the piano music through a crack in the door. He couldn’t remember ever seeing his mom dressed up. The gold tea-length dress with empire ruched waist and lace bolero jacket complemented her, and he watched with admiration through the open door.

  Next came Frank and Faye. Faye’s plum-colored tea-length dress was a nice contrast to Victoria’s gold, but the beaded trim added a touch of flamboyance that wouldn’t have suited his mother.

  The piano music changed, and Ryan looked over his shoulder at Peter. “Ready?”

  Peter simply replied “Yes,” his focus intent. He’s definitely ready, thought Ryan.

  Peter stepped out of the room first, followed by Logan, Andy, and Ryan. The four men in their tuxes lined the front steps, turning to watch Heather send Emma and Taylor down the aisle. Emma’s navy blue satin dress rustled as she confidently walked down the aisle, but Tayl
or panicked, wrapping her arms around her crouching mother’s neck. Heather returned her little girl’s hug.

  Logan stepped forward from the front of the church and crouched down as Heather pointed Taylor’s gaze to her daddy. Cautiously at first, then running at her top speed, she charged down the aisle, past her sister and into Logan’s arms as the congregation tittered. He scooped her up and whispered into her ear before handing her off to Faye and stepping back into his place.

  As Heather stepped back into line, Ryan caught his first look at Brittney. Wow, he thought. The bodice of her strapless, navy blue chiffon dress fit snugly while the skirt flowed gracefully from a twist empire waist. Gentle dark curls were pulled back on one side with a simple pearl clip. Beautiful. Her eyes met his as she walked down the aisle, and Ryan didn’t want to look anywhere else. He almost forgot to breathe.

  First Allie and then Heather followed Brittney down the aisle, lining up in their assigned places. Then Amber stepped into full view of the congregation. The pianist started The Bridal March, and everyone stood. Amber’s white dress, similar in style to her bridesmaids, included three simple beaded flowers at her waist and a chapel train. A simple halo of flowers rested on her head of long curls underneath the lace veil that hung to her waist. She loosely held a small bouquet of white roses, and while all eyes were on her, her eyes were solidly on Peter.

  Before they knew it, the happy couple had exchanged vows, and the pastor introduced Mr. and Mrs. Peter Yager. The happy newlyweds led the way down the aisle, followed by Logan and Heather, Andy and Allie, and Ryan and Brittney. Ryan stood tall with Brittney on his arm, proudly escorting her to a small room just off the foyer.

  The girls encircled the bride, chattering all at once while they worked to fasten her train up. Logan shook Peter’s hand. “Congratulations, Pete. I’m proud of you.”

  “Thanks, Logan. I owe you quite a lot.”

  “Yeah, I know.” He grinned at his brother.

  “So, I’m guessing we’re not running in the mornings for a while,” said Andy.

  Peter laughed. “Yeah, give me about a week, huh?”